If I had only 30 more days to live...

Next month I will turn 40 years old, and I have been joking back with my family that this may be my last year alive...(every time they call me old) This got me thinking, what if it was? What if I had one year left to live, what would I do, what could I do? You see, I have so many things I wanted to accomplish in my life that I am no closer to reaching than the day I realized I wanted to do it. I got the idea of really trying to live each day like it was a countdown to my end, and doing a podcast episode at the end of each day to recap what I did and what I focused on. Well, one year seems like a bit long so I am wondering if I could do 30 days. If you only had 30 days to live, what would you do? 30 days to live but in relatively good health meaning you could get around, do everything physically, what should I do? If I was single, with no children this would be so simple, I would spend every last penny to my name, sell off or give away every single possession and travel to see everything I could, seek to find joy in every different culture of people, find the things that provide joy to those cultures. I would make sure each and every person in my life knows without a shadow of a doubt how much they mean to me. I would do everything I could to shed my fears and anxieties about talking to people. I would attempt to reach out to people who maybe I hold resentments to, to at least try to bring peace to the situation so that they don't feel any guilt when I am gone. I have seen too many people hold guilt and regret following the death of a loved one.

I am not single, I have an amazing wife and amazing daughters so my ultimate responsibility is to them. That changes things dramatically, I would need to make sure they were taken care of so selling off everything to travel the world is out, but here is the thing, I would not tell anyone that I was dying. It is something that I guarantee would make my loved ones a bit mad at me after the fact if they found out, so I would do everything I could to ensure secrecy from everyone that knew. You see I am all about authentic, I want real from people I would not want to receive sympathy from people because they knew. I also would not want people being and acting differently around me. I am not a person who needs all the attention in any situation, my joy comes from seeing my loved ones enjoying themselves. Having said that, I would still look to bring joy to everyone everyday, but on a much smaller scale as it would be just for the people in and just outside of my circle. I would still make sure everyone knew how much they mean to me, still make amends, still shed my inhibitions about meeting people.

I would really like to live that way everyday, to be the best husband, father, son, brother, cousin, nephew, and friend I can be. So, I am putting this out there to you, If I were to create a podcast for the next 30 days of me trying to live my life that way I need you to vote. I will put this on Facebook I have 800+ friends on there so If I can get 200 votes for it I will do it. I think it will be quite interesting. Comment, and share, let me know if you would like to see it, and that you would listen to it so I can get into my method actor mode. ( I am not an actor so don't judge me on my performance)

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